Tonight’s post on the DDD Part III, Divorce, was written by our Atlanta Family Law Attorney, Cherese Clark.
The last dirty word of this series is likely to draw many objections (no pun intended). It is a word that often triggers anger and sadness. Many clients have stared this word in the face with fear and devastation. What am I talking about? Divorce- the third and final Domestically Dirty Word.
Divorce has a very simple definition but it is one of the most intricate issues in family law. That is as it should be because it strikes at the heart of family, children, and money.
Divorce is simply defined as the dissolution of a marriage. To get a full understanding one has to look at the definition of marriage. “Marriage” is the state of being united to a person in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.
The definition of divorce does not mean dissolution of a family or dissolution of a parental relationship. It is simply a dissolving of one contractual relationship. This does not mean that a husband loses his title as a father nor does that a wife loses her title as a mother. It does not mean that a family becomes tainted. It simply means that the relationship of husband and wife no longer exists.
Sometimes dissolving those specific titles can yield fruitful friendships which teach lessons that help to better parent children. Divorce does not a preclude a former husband and wife from being friends, teammates, or awesome co-parents to children who are so unique and special that they now have a double dose of love and affection.
I consult with metro Atlanta clients on how to approach divorce. While many go through the various stages of grief, trying to forward think about how to move forward can yield the most promising outlook post divorce. For example, if there are children involved and the children witness mommy and daddy constantly fighting, never seeing examples of love and affection, how does it benefit the children to not have an example of a healthy relationship?
I have often heard clients refer to divorce as a failure of a marriage. However I would encourage anyone considering divorce to exclude the word “failure” from your vocabulary, not just in an everyday sense but especially in a marriage sense.
Rather, divorce could mean a refreshed view and rejuvenation of one’s old self. Divorce also could mean that children do not see fighting or animosity but instead have a chance to understand and witness a healthy relationship that will act as a blueprint for their future reference.
In no form or fashion is this post intended to encourage divorce. This is simply another view of divorce and looking at the glass half full rather than half empty.
And isn’t that the better view to choose, anyway?