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Failure to Launch

Boy grows up with everything he ever wanted. His family was well connected in this small town; donating to all of the local politicians, including the Sheriff and the Judges, so when boy got to be a teenager and got into some mischief resulting in a couple of pesky misdemeanor charges, after a few phone calls from Dad to his connections, everything went away. Boy graduates high school, but barely. After all, Mom and Dad are going to continue taking care of all the hard stuff.

Mom and Dad help Boy land a few jobs, none of them lasting long. After all, Boy was living rent free. Dad even took a loan out to buy Boy a nice new truck AND made the payments on it (after all, Dad's credit is on the line, and even he knows how irresponsible Boy is).

So after a year or so of playing video games and job surfing, Boy meets Girl, they fall in lust, and Girl gets pregnant. Feeling he is doing the right thing, Boy proposes to Girl, and Girl, feeling like she is doing the right thing, accepts. Mom and Dad make room and Girl moves in with them, along with Baby, once he comes.

After not very long, Girl starts getting tired of living under her in-laws roof. Girl starts getting tired of never having any money. Boy refuses to move. Boy refuses to work. Boy refuses to grow up. It does not matter how many times Girl asks, Boy refuses. So one day, Girl gets fed up and leaves with Baby. Boy is devastated. "Doesn't Girl see how great life is here - we don't pay rent or buy groceries and I don't have to work!"

Mom and Dad are bound and determined that they won't lose Baby, even though Boy doesn't seem to care terribly much. The most expensive attorney in town is hired. Phone calls are made directly to Judges to "fix this" and "make sure she regrets this". Boy gets set up with a nice government job. Dad's local clout gets Baby back to Boy, but once again, it's really Mom and Dad doing the hard work. "Life is grand, we just have to wait this divorce out, and everything goes back to normal," and Mom and Dad will raise the Baby.

Only problem is, Girl won't give up on her Baby. And Boy doesn't know the first thing about being an adult. It doesn't take long for Boy to screw up the government job. It doesn't take long for Boy to start sending Baby to Girl more and more because he doesn't want to deal with it. It doesn't take long for Mom and Dad to stop wanting to pay the attorneys fees, and the truck payment, and the mortgage, and power bills, and everything else, while Boy plays video games. So Boy gets tossed out and the truck gets taken away and the attorney stops getting paid. Things snowball and Girl gets Baby back. Life happens.

And life could have been so different if only Boy would have launched. At some point. At anytime.

David Purvis

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