For me, the first few weeks of January have been full of weighing personal items. Not in the sense of how many pounds something weighs, but weighing the item’s importance in my life. Some of that happens this time of year every year somewhat naturally as we pare down what we have accumulated over the year. A recent view of the loading dock at Goodwill indicates that this common for a lot of other households.
Personally, we also experienced the loss of a couple of the matriarchs in our family. Both lived long, robust lives well into their 90s, for which we had much to celebrate. But death also requires one’s loved ones to go through their possessions and to weigh whether the item has some personal significance for those still living or if the item needs to get donated or thrown out. Those can be tough evaluations for many of us as the sting of the loss is still fresh and we are quick to hold onto a great many items because of the connection to that loved one that they create.
Professionally, we just moved offices in Savannah. Moving always requires a weighing of whether something deserves to go into the moving truck or should be disposed of. Having just moved two years ago (our space was just sold to create another hotel for downtown Savannah), I could use “has anyone touched this in the last two years” as an easy gauge to that item’s fate. Going from a space with several large storage spots to one with less certainly helped promote this endeavor.
In divorces, personal property division can sometimes be the hardest. Sometimes, getting a particular item is a matter of necessity (“I need the bedroom set from the guest bedroom so I have somewhere to sleep in the new home because I moved out”). Other times, there is a sentimental attachment to a family heirloom that the couple received as they started their lives together (“My great aunt Edna gave us that china cabinet so we could have our first formal dining room”). And then there are the final items left to be divided at mediation. Ask any family law attorney and they’ll tell you of some fight over personal property at mediation that left them scratching their heads. For me, it was a box of 10 audio CDs (back when those were a thing). In this last category the significance isn’t the personal property item itself, but the realization that once we have settled the division of this last “thing”, the divorce becomes all but final. And so more than the necessary and more than the sentimental, that last item to be divided can sometimes have the most value, at least in the moment.
Regardless of why you may be evaluating your “things”, I have a few recommendations:
First, is the item actually ever used? If it’s a kitchen gadget that hasn’t been touched since it was unwrapped Christmas 2018, then donate it and free up that space.
How does the item make you feel? Does looking at it make you feel happy? Remind you of something meaningful and happy in your life? Then certainly keep it.
Does it remind you of your ex and not in nostalgic warm-and-fuzzy ways? Then get rid of it. Even if it is a box of 10 audio CDs.
As we embark on another year, the things we choose to surround ourselves with will impact us significantly. Choose wisely.