2024 was one of the hardest years of my life. I lost my grandfather who fought various illnesses over the better part of the last 20 years. A few months later, my partner lost his mother after a horrible stroke and 6 months in the hospital. I was close with both of these people, and my life was forever changed by their deaths. During my tumultuous and emotional year, I developed various strategies and methods of dealing with the immense amount of grief and heartache I was feeling. My hope is that these methods may be helpful to you when going through any painful part of your life.
- Take a Break
Taking a break will look different for everyone, because everyone is living different lives. How this looked for me was utilizing my then employer’s short term leave benefits in order to unplug from work. I was being pulled in so many different directions in 2024, and it all became too much to handle on top of my job. I was not able to show up to work and be my best self because I was so stressed, exhausted, and emotionally spent. I took 2 weeks off from work and went home to my family in Alabama. I was able to stabilize my own feelings and get in a much better headspace. That break made it possible for me to keep moving forward.
A break for you might look like heading to the mountains for a weekend or sleeping in on a Saturday instead of rushing around trying to be in 20 different places at once. Giving yourself the time and space to be unplugged is important to your mental health, physical health, and emotional health. It is difficult to grieve and process your emotions if you are constantly on the go and ticking off your to-do list.
- Get Into Therapy
When things were really hard, I began looking for a therapist. I had so much going on, and everyone in my life was also going through various things. It helped me immensely to have someone completely unrelated to my life to talk to and learn from. My therapist helped me put things into perspective and gave me an outlet for venting when I needed it. Whenever possible, I highly recommend finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with.
- Lean on Your Support System
It has always been difficult for me to ask for help. I pride myself on being independent and taking care of myself. Unfortunately, that mindset was simply not a healthy way to cope with my grief and heartache. I swallowed my pride and leaned on my support system when things were particularly hard. My extended family and my partner’s extended family helped us pay for and plan a completely unexpected funeral and burial for his mother. They helped us understand life insurance and all of the hard things that we didn’t expect to have to deal with as 20-somethings just starting out in our careers and lives. We would never have been able to handle all of the end-of-life issues without our support systems.
Lean on those that love you and want to help. They may offer to pick up groceries or come over and fold some laundry for you. Accept their help and remember you can pay it forward when you are back on your feet.
One part of life on this beautiful planet is that it is short. We love and we lose the ones we love. But how lucky are we to love someone so much that we experience grief? How wonderful is it to love someone else so much that a part of them lives on in us? I cherish my memories with my grandfather and my partner’s mother. I cannot imagine a life without them in it, and I am so blessed to have had the time I had with both of them. The pain of loss may never fully go away, but life will go on. Love hard, grieve fully, and live well.