Almost three years ago, my husband and I, along with our then 4-year-old daughter and 5-month-old son, moved three hours away from our hometown in search of new opportunities. We understood that we were effectively leaving our support system, but we operated under the notion that all four of our children’s grandparents were retired or semi-retired, in good health, and would have unlimited flexibility to come see us. Plus, their grandkids are the cutest. Why wouldn’t they come at a moment’s notice?
I had heard of the “Sandwich Generation” – the generation of adults who are caring for young children and elderly parents at the same time – but last year, I found myself suddenly part of that unappetizing sandwich some 20 years earlier than I expected. Three out of four of our parents were hit with an onslaught of serious medical issues. Instead of impromptu play dates and visits and babysitting for date nights, we found ourselves caring for them while raising our own children and working full time. If I had a heat map of my most-visited places in 2023, it would show trips to hospitals and clinics across North and South Carolina. I was newly pregnant with our third child and spent my days obsessively toggling between MyChart records for six different hospital systems, bouncing from work meetings to calls with specialists to prenatal appointments to carpool lines and back.
After spending several years as an estate planning and probate paralegal, and now spending my days in legal operations management, my project became locating and reviewing my parents’ estate planning portfolio. I ensured my and my sister’s contact information was correct, that my parents’ assets were properly listed, and that their doctors knew these documents even existed. We spent the year having very difficult, but very necessary, conversations about an uncertain future and what was to come.
It encouraged me to review my own estate plan. I urged my friends, who are also in their 30’s and 40’s, to create even the most basic of estate plans to ensure that their children and families are protected. I stressed that it’s never too early to get your affairs in order, and that they need to have those hard talks with their own parents and loved ones. None of us are getting younger. None of us are promised a minute more than we have already lived.
It was a grueling year of unknowns and uncertainty, and I owe more than I could express to the leadership team at The Manely Firm who exemplifies one of our core values of “Leading with Care” day in and day out not only to our clients, but to their employees.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your loved ones is the security of knowing that one day, they will be able to grieve you without the looming pressure and stress of paperwork and navigating a complicated probate process. 10 months after my family’s journey started, things feel a little more manageable, stable, and predictable. Knowing that my loved ones’ affairs (and my own) are ironclad gives me a small amount of peace that is irreplaceable.
The Manely Firm, P.C.’s Estate Planning department is here to help families protect and preserve their futures for generations to come, even the sandwiched ones.
Kate Ellis