If you’re in a co-parenting situation and you’ve survived 2020 with no issues, congratulations! The world has been hard enough this year without drama from your ex. Regardless of how your relationship with your ex/co-parent has been, regardless of why you separated or got divorced, go ahead now and start thinking of ways to resolve to make 2021 even better. How?
Well, I’m glad you asked…
If it’s not too late by the time you read this (heck, even if it’s after Christmas, who cares?), help your children with their presents for your co-parent. Whether that’s helping with paying for it or helping make it, it goes a long way to setting the tone for 2021. It has the added bonus of showing your children that you value them because you value their other parent.
If you don’t already use a co-parenting app, 2021 might be the year to move your co-parenting into the 21st century. Beyond just a centralized location for your communications (don’t you hate switching from text to email and back to text and keeping up with who said what?), the calendar function is very helpful. Some apps also have add-ons that will look for words and phrases that might not be the most productively-worded (or worse) and stop you from sending it. Even when we don’t intend to come across a particular way, the written word is hard to convey the intended tone. Add to that a history that involves divorce and it is easy to see how what one person meant when they wrote a text isn’t how the other person read it when they received it.
“Let it Go”:
This is hard. I get it. Even harder will be to get that song out of your head now. We all keep score to some extent or another. If you’re harboring a grudge about something that was said or happened in 2020, move on from it when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve. If it was something that happened before 2020, even more reason. Chances are, the only person suffering over that incident you won’t let go of is you. Resolve to let it go when the clock strikes midnight and don’t hold it back anymore…
If it’s been a few years since you took your court-mandated co-parenting seminar, take another one. They are even more widely available on-line now. If it’s one that the courts accept, it will typically be at least four hours and there is certainly something from the first time you took it that you’ve forgotten. Even better, invite your ex to join you. Or suggest family counseling for both of you and your child to dig into what you can do to make the co-parenting situation better for not only the parents, but more importantly, your child.
You only have a few years left raising your child together, regardless of how old she is. Make 2021 the year that your co-parenting turns a corner and your child finishes her childhood as happy and secure as she can be! Happy Holidays!