I was at the birthday party of a young child in my family yesterday. The little guy turned two years old. Over and over throughout the day you heard the refrain “Can you believe it’s been two years already?!?” That refrain will be heard annually on his birthdays and for him, while it will seem to be forever for his next birthday and to be another year older, for the adults who love him, each year goes quicker than the last.
In addition to this reminder of how quickly time is passing, we “lost” an hour last night. Before we turned in for the night I changed the time on all of our clocks (ok, almost all, I forgot one). I literally erased an hour of time off the oven, off the microwave, from the clock in the living room, even the coffeemaker lost an hour. Boom, just like that, those appliances were an hour older. I was an hour older (and felt like it after a day full of two, three, and four year olds)! What a day of seeing just how quickly time is passing!
For our children, the next birthday is forever from now. It might as well be as soon as the last time their favorite dinosaur walked the earth. For us, it’s immediate. It’s around the corner. It will be here before we know it. And if you are a divorced parent, it moves even faster. The time between birthdays moves even faster. The time between holidays moves even faster. Your child grows even faster between visits. All the more reason to improve the relationship with the other parent, regardless of why or how or when the marriage ended. Will it matter why ou got divorced when Junior turns 18 and no longer “needs” either parent? Or will it matter that you got to be at all of Junior’s birthday parties and his high school graduation because you and Junior’s mom figured out how to be in the same room together without making everyone else in the room painfully uncomfortable? Will it matter more that you have a videocamera full of Junior blowing out his birthday candles every year or that you got in the last word with Junior’s dad in the last argument?
For about half of all marriages, divorce is all but inevitable. It is an unfortunate statistic and one we know all to well. We have found methods to make that process, though still painful, a positive one. It is our aim for you and Junior’s other parent to be at all of his birthdays and other major events because that’s what’s most important for junior.
Can you believe he’s another year older indeed? Happy Birthday, C.