Though some studies show falling divorce rates, the legal end of marriage is still something that happens to many people. As divorce becomes more and more accepted with the passage of time, many divorced parents find their own adult children facing the same thing. Many of them naturally want to help their children through what can be a difficult time but are unsure of exactly how to do so.
If you’re a parent here in Georgia who has experienced your own divorce, you will have a lot of helpful information and advice for your divorcing children. The problem is that your insight may be unwelcome for different reasons. Fortunately, experts agree that there are several ways that parents can help their adult kids get through a divorce.
Lend a friendly ear
One of the easiest ways to support your child through his or her own divorce is by simply listening and giving them your support. One divorced woman says the key to that is by prioritizing your child’s needs throughout the process. She says that during her own divorce, her son’s grades never slipped and, when he became an adult, he thanked her because he never felt angry at either of his parents.
Adult children who watch their parents navigate divorce may naturally reach out to their parents for support. Experts say that you can help by focusing on the positive, such as your child’s self-worth, and offer them reassurance instead of criticism.
When to give advice and when to hold your tongue
Like many issues between parents and children, if your child hasn’t explicitly asked for your advice, you may want to hold back. Depending on your relationship with your adult child, you can try to offer a small bit of advice to see if your child asks for more insight, since some of them may not be comfortable with soliciting your opinion. It may be difficult to stay quiet, but your child is an adult and will have to deal with the outcome of a divorce with or without your support.
If your child has his or her own children, you may want to be careful about how you talk about your grandchildren’s other parent. Talking negatively about the other parent can backfire on you, generating resentment and difficulty for your own child. Though your protective instinct for your own child may kick in, you should consider what is best for everyone, particularly any young children.
Point them to resources
If you read a book or utilized a therapist that was particularly helpful during your divorce, that’s something easy to share with your child. These resources may show you and your child any similar issues between your respective divorces. For some parents who fear that their kids may rely on them too much, giving them access to resources may be a way to help while taking care of yourself.
Though this can be a difficult time in any person’s life, your own divorce may equip you to help your child through his or her own. What’s most important is that anyone going through a divorce realizes that he or she is still a good person and deserves happiness. You can help your adult child get on the road to that happiness.