The phone is ringing. It rings so long you are sure it’s going to voice mail. At what seems like the last second, she picks up. “Hello.” You are beaming from ear to ear, better settled just to hear the sound of her voice. You engage in idle chatter for the next few minutes about your day, the weather, your immediate plans. Then it’s time to ring off.
“Good bye. See you soon,” all the while your face is lit up like the Christmas star.
But she can’t see you smile. She doesn’t know just how happy she makes you. She doesn’t know how your world is based on, centered on, turns upon her.
She doesn’t know. You didn’t tell her.
_________
Dinner is lovely. You could eat anything, anywhere with her and it would be lovely. Just to have the opportunity to sit at the table with her, holding her hands in yours. If you could purr, you probably would. You study her face, the way she holds her fork, how she sips from her glass. You are swept up in her every move.
Your heart is full and warms you completely. Your heart is full, your body warm, but your head does not express it. You feel it. You know it. But you don’t say it.
She doesn’t know. You didn’t tell her.
_________
You’ve walked with her, dined with her. You’ve now embraced as it is time to part. You’ve said your tender, though temporary good byes. She turns to walk away, as do you. But then you stop and turn back around to watch her as she leaves your company. Your heart thunders like a locomotive. Your pulse pounds like a wolf fresh on a run. Your soul rockets forward like an arrow an instant from it’s bulls-eye.
But she doesn’t know the romantic scene playing out solo behind her. She doesn’t know in that instant that you adore her. She doesn’t know in that instant that you hang on her every move, her every breath. She doesn’t know in that instant that the colors of the rainbow would run clear if she were not a part of your life.
She doesn’t know. You didn’t tell her.
____________
She walks into my office.
“I want a divorce,” she tells me.
“Why?,” I inquire.
“My husband doesn’t love me anymore. At least, he never tells me so.”
-Michael Manely