For some, it’s no Father’s Day at all.
Here’s the scenario: a divorce, 10 year old boy, Mom and Dad separated three years ago; Mom and Dad live on different continents. Dad hasn’t had much of anything to do with the boy since the separation except the two times when Mom brought the boy to Dad’s house for a vacation.
So the divorce trial is coming; we’re talking settlement with Dad to see if Mom and Dad can reach an agreement. Dad very much takes a “my way or the highway” approach, even refusing to agree to not disparage Mom to the child (standard language for a settlement agreement) because “no one will tell me what I can and can’t say to my son.”
Still, Dad can’t be bothered to so much as routinely Skype with the boy and when he does, Boy is lucky if he gets 10 minutes of Dad’s attention. Dad contends it is because he and the boy don’t have much to talk about.
Finally, a week before trial, Dad decides to seek full custody, that the boy should not live with Mom since she’s a bad influence. However, since Dad travels at least three weeks a month, Dad has decided that the boy should live with Dad’s girlfriend in yet a whole ‘nother country.
You might guess that this guy is a serious nut case but he holds a solid, well paying job and talks a good game. He does come across as extremely self-absorbed but not as a raving lunatic.
We get to trial, I’m doing my job, cornering him, highlighting the folly in his peculiar positions, not hard to do with these facts, when Dad blurts out, “Take him. I don’t want him. Judge, terminate my parental rights. I want nothing to do with this boy. I don’t ever want to see him again. I don’t ever want to speak to him again. If I can’t have him on my terms, I wash my hands of him.”
First, mom gasped then released a muffled shriek then just broke down. The Judge was literally stunned. The court reporter said, “No, no, don’t do that.” The Sheriff’s deputy jumped up and approached Dad, hand on his gun.
The Judge tried to talk Dad out of it, “would you like to take a break for an hour and think about this?” “No,” Dad retorted, “I’ve been thinking about this for two years. I’m done.”
He was, indeed.
I fight for dads to see their children. Sometimes you have to. This was not one of those times. Mom’s chief concern was her son not loosing access to his dad. Unfortunately, that was not Dad’s interest at all.
I hope there is a special place in hell on Earth for low life scum like this. What he’s doing to that boy is unforgivable. But as I keep telling myself, given how worthless and awful this poor excuse for a human being is, maybe, somehow, his son is better off without him.
And maybe, somewhere in the recesses of Dad’s dark, diseased mind, he knows it.
Michael Manely