Tonight’s excellent post about being heard, was written by our Lawrenceville Divorce Attorney, Brandy Alexander.
Doesn’t it always seem like everything bad that can happen, always happens all at once? Your car breaks down, the children get the flu, oh! and your spouse wants a divorce. The storm is no longer coming, it has arrived and you’re standing squarely in its eye.
Here is what you should know: This too shall pass. Your car can be fixed, the flu does not last always and divorces happen and can be made a lot less stressful if you tackle them head on. Everything will be okay. Stop. Breathe. Allow the eye of the storm to pass.
Divorce. It’s not a bad or dirty word. A scarlet D will not be sewn into your clothing or tattooed on your forehead to inform the world that you are going through a divorce or have been divorced. But I get it, you are standing in the eye of the storm. Trying to find reason and logic for thunder and rain when it’s raining on your head and the roar of the thunder is screaming in your ear is nearly impossible. The roll of the thunder does not hear your cries and your tears have been lost somewhere in the downpour of the rain. It’s okay to stand still for a moment. Gather yourself.
Gather your thoughts but get out of the rain!
I have found that often in Family Law, people just want to be heard. Sometimes, I hear the same story five or six times. I never stop my clients. I never tell them you don’t have to tell me that you’ve told me before. I never disrupt their recount of the facts of any circumstance because I know that there is healing in being heard. Sometimes it takes a while to find shelter from the rain. I believe that is often because we are trying to convince ourselves that this is not happening or trying to talk the storm into passing. You need the roll of thunder to hear your cry. You need the storm to pass. So, you scream and you yell and you cry but when it’s all over, there is still a divorce action sitting in your lap.
Don’t run from it. Deal with it. Answer the complaint. Tell your attorney that hallmark story five times if you have to, and know that whether you address the matter now or later, ultimately, you will have to face the music of the thunder that never heard your cry.
BUT, there is hope because the sooner you get out of the rain, the sooner you can get dry and watch the rainbow dance in the sky.
Divorces do not last always.