Tonight’s post about resolutions in family law was written by our Savannah Family Law attorney, David Purvis.
You may recall that last year I wrote about discernment counseling which helps couples “cut to the chase” and determine if the marriage is salvageable or if it’s time to move forward with a divorce. It’s a possible first step before starting marriage counseling, which can be a long-term endeavor.
As we start 2015, I wanted to again write about a decision that many people start grappling with this time of year: is this the year that we end the marriage? It may be – statistically approximately half of all marriages end in divorce and the first of the year always sees a spike in new filings.
If you aren’t sure of the answer, I invite you to re-read about the counseling options out there. Beyond that, here are some resolutions, if you will, that will help, regardless of what your answer winds up being:
-Resolve to speak civilly to each other. Even if the marriage is completely over and you can’t stand the thought of each other, abiding by the Golden Rule or even just not yelling at each other can go a long way in getting your divorce resolved faster and cheaper and you moved on with life sooner.
-Resolve to put your children first in every decision made regarding the marriage and its dissolution.
-Resolve to not make it about the “principle of the matter”. So she hurt you deeply. Do you really want the spoon collection or are you “teaching her a lesson”? Draw the line in the sand on the things that actually matter and don’t focus energy on proving a point (which is never actually proven nor any lesson really learned).
-Resolve to resolve the issue of whether you should end the marriage. Truthfully, is this your first foray into family law? Is this the first time you’ve gone into January with these thoughts? What did you do last year to resolve that question? The year before? If the answer is nothing, resolve to do something, anything, to bring about an answer, to obtain your resolution.
Maybe the effort results in a stronger, healthier marriage. Maybe the effort results in being single by New Year’s Eve 2015. Either way, you’re probably going to be much happier come the next New Year’s Day than if you are asking yourself the same old question, again.