𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 𝗟𝗔𝗪: 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗔𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥…
𝗡𝗮𝘃𝗱𝗶𝗽 𝗗𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘄𝗮𝗹, 𝗦𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗺 𝗟𝗟𝗣, explores how arrangements work in the UK for children after separation and offered practical tips to navigate Mother’s Day with care and sensitivity.
Mother’s Day is a special time to celebrate the role mothers play in their children’s lives. In the UK, it is traditionally celebrated on Mothering Sunday, which falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent, this year, it falls on 15 March.
For many families, the day is marked with simple traditions, cards from children, family meals out, or a chance to spend meaningful time together. However, when parents are separated, occasions like Mother’s Day can sometimes raise practical questions about arrangements for children.
For separated parents, however, questions often arise about who the child will spend the day with and how legal arrangements may affect this. Understanding UK family law on child arrangements can help reduce conflict and keep the focus on what matters most: the child’s wellbeing. We also acknowledge that Mother’s Day can be difficult for some families due to loss, separation, or other personal circumstances. Whatever your situation, keeping the focus on the child and fostering positive relationships can help create meaningful experiences.
In this article, Navdip Dhariwal, Senior Associate at The Manely Firm LLP, explores how arrangements work for children after separation and offers practical tips to navigate Mother’s Day with care and sensitivity.
Mother’s Day and separated families
When parents live apart, the time a child spends with each parent is often governed by:
- Informal agreements between parents
- Court orders, such as a Child Arrangements Order (CAO)
If there is no clear agreement in place, holidays such as Mother’s Day can become a source of disagreement. In many cases, parents will simply agree that the child spends Mother’s Day with their mother, and likewise, Father’s Day with their father.
However, if relations between parents are strained or if there is an existing court order regulating contact, the situation may be more complex. In England and Wales, arrangements for children following separation are often regulated through a Children Act 1989 framework and, where necessary, a court-issued Child Arrangements Order.
What Is a Child Arrangements Order?
A Child Arrangements Order (CAO) is a decision made by the family court to provide clarity and structure around a child’s care and time with each parent or close family members. It sets out key details such as:
- Where a child lives – determining which parent the child will live with on a regular basis, helping provide stability and consistency.
- When and how a child spends time with each parent or other family members – covering weekdays, weekends, school holidays, birthdays, and special occasions such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day
The purpose of a CAO is to prioritise the child’s wellbeing while making arrangements practical and manageable for parents. Many parents reach an agreement on their own, but when an arrangement cannot be agreed upon, the court steps in to make a fair decision that reflects the child’s best interests.
While a CAO is legally binding, many parents prefer to reach an agreement together rather than going through the court process. By discussing and agreeing on arrangements collaboratively, sometimes with the support of a neutral professional or family mediator, parents can create a plan that works for everyone and reflects their child’s needs. These agreements can be flexible, adapting over time as the child grows, helping to reduce uncertainty and tension and allowing parents to focus on creating positive experiences and meaningful time with their children.
If an agreement cannot be reached, or if there are wider issues such as concerns about the child’s safety or wellbeing, parents may need to consider making an application to the court for a CAO. Even in these cases, it is often recommended to explore non-court options first, such as mediation, arbitration, or child-inclusive mediation, unless there are exceptional circumstances that make immediate court involvement necessary, for example, if there is a risk of harm to the child or urgent safety concerns. Using these approaches can help parents work through disagreements constructively, find practical solutions that suit their family, and keep the child’s best interests at the heart of any arrangement.
Does a Child Arrangements Order Cover Mother’s Day?
Not all CAOs specifically mention Mother’s Day. Many simply outline general contact arrangements. However, if the order includes a detailed schedule, it may specify that:
- The child spends Mother’s Day with their mother
- The child spends Father’s Day with their father
- Special days override the normal weekly schedule
If the order does not mention Mother’s Day, parents are expected to co-operate and make reasonable arrangements in the child’s best interests.
The Court’s Priority: The Child’s Welfare
Under the “Welfare Principle”, the court’s primary consideration is always the child’s welfare. This means that when a judge is asked to make decisions about a child’s upbringing, the focus is on what is in the child’s best interests, rather than on what either parent may prefer.
To help guide this assessment, the court considers a number of factors often referred to as the “welfare checklist.” These include:
- the child’s wishes and feelings (taking into account their age and understanding),
- their physical, emotional and educational needs,
- the likely effect of any change in their circumstances,
- each parent’s ability to meet those needs, and
- any risk of harm to the child and the wider context of the child’s background and family relationships.
In practice, this means the court takes a holistic view of the child’s life and relationships when deciding arrangements. Maintaining meaningful relationships with both parents is often seen as an important part of a child’s emotional wellbeing, where it is safe and appropriate to do so. As a result, occasions such as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day can be recognised as valuable opportunities for children to maintain and strengthen those bonds.
At the same time, the court will always balance this with the child’s overall routine, stability, and wellbeing. The aim is to ensure that any arrangements support the child’s emotional development and sense of security, rather than prioritising the wishes of either parent alone.
What If Parents Disagree?
If parents cannot agree on arrangements for special occasions, there are several practical steps that can help resolve the issue:
- Talk Early and Clearly
Try to discuss arrangements well in advance of the day. Clear, calm communication can prevent misunderstandings and make it easier to reach a solution. - Consider Mediation or Other Dispute Resolution
Family mediation, child-inclusive mediation, or arbitration can help parents reach an agreement without going to court. These options allow both parents to have input while keeping the focus on the child’s wellbeing. - Seek Legal Advice
A family solicitor can explain how any existing Child Arrangements Order (CAO) applies and advise on your options for modifying or clarifying arrangements. - Court Application as a Last Resort
If disagreements continue, a parent may apply to the family court to request a CAO or to vary an existing order. This should usually be considered only after trying non-court options, unless there are urgent issues such as a risk of harm to the child.
Practical Tips for Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) After Separation
Separated parents can make special occasions positive for their children by following some simple steps:
- Plan Early – Decide arrangements well in advance so everyone knows what to expect.
- Put Agreements in Writing – Even a short email or message can prevent misunderstandings.
- Be Flexible Where Possible – Consider swapping days or adjusting times to suit everyone, especially if children have multiple caregivers.
- Keep the Child’s Feelings at the Centre– Ask the child what they want and consider their emotional needs, depending on their age and understanding.
- Focus on the Child’s Relationships– Remember that the day is about celebrating the bond between the child and the parent, not about parental disputes.
By taking a practical, collaborative approach, parents can reduce tension and create a meaningful experience for their children, even after separation.
Need advice about child arrangements?
If you’re unsure how a Child Arrangements Order affects special occasions such as Mother’s Day, speaking with our experienced family law team can help clarify your rights and options.
This article is intended as general guidance only and does not constitute legal advice. Advice should always be sought based on your individual circumstances.
Navdip Dhariwa
