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A Christmas Gift ... For Your Ex

Merry Christmas! The suggestion I am making may not sound at all appealing to you if you're in the midst of a divorce, but hear me out. For Christmas, take your child to buy a gift for your ex, at least until your child is old enough to take care of it on their own.

The gift you are really giving is a gift, not to your ex but to your child. Your child wants desperately to love both parents and to feel safe doing so. Often in a divorce, people feel pressured to pick sides and your children feel that as well. By encouraging a positive relationship between your child and your ex, you are telling your child that while the marriage between you and your ex is broken, the love between your children and both of their parents is important and will remain unbroken.

The Court is looking to see how willing you are to co-parent and how well you foster a relationship between your child and your ex. It's not because it's some sadistic game the Court plays to punish you for your failed marriage. It's because all the evidence and studies show that it's important for children to love borh their parents, to feel loved by both their parents, and to feel safe in their relationships.

Merry Christmas! I wish you the best during what may be a difficult holiday season.

Jennifer McCall

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