Tonight's post about our children was written by our Lawrenceville
Family Law attorney, Wesley Wilson.
While driving to the store a few days I go, I passed my local gym and noticed
that the parking lot was considerably more full than I typically see.
I figure the new year brought new weekend warriors, with New Year's
resolutions in tow to make an attempt to lose those holiday pounds. A
new year brings about the opportunity for change. Many people use that
flip of the calendar as a time to start anew
When it comes to families, one situation that always seems to be ripe for
change is our approach to our toxic relationships. Tonight, I'm writing
to the folks with children who have gone their separate ways but are still
in relationship with that once-upon-a-time significant other.
Here are a few ideas on changing our approach to those relationships:
First, let go. Your child came from love, but your relationship with their
other parent is over. Understand that what is important is not how that
individual hurt you, why you aren't together anymore, or just how
much of a bonehead that other parent can sometimes be. The most important
thing is your child. Right?Make sure that your interactions with the other
parent are focused on your child and not re-living your bad relationship
with the bonehead.
Second, love your child. Don't only shower your child with love, but
make sure she hears that you love her. In addition, remind her that both
of her parents love her. Often our children, especially our younger ones,
do not understand why their parents aren't together. In their perfect
world, mommy and daddy share the same space. They can't comprehend
that the space was toxic and far from perfect. But they can comprehend
that their universe is safe, bolstered by the abiding love of both parents,
if they are reassured.
Third, act civil around your former significant other. So many times we
forget that our children are very perceptive. I completely understand
that you and your child's other parent might not be as fond of each
other as you once were, however, it does neither of you nor your child
any good to complain to your child about their other parent or argue with
their other parent around your child. Children often think that they are
the reason for the anger and unhappiness. You trash the other parent,
you might as well trash your child.
So that's it, the New Year's resolution, one, two, three that I
heartily recommend for change by starting anew in relationship with your
ex-significant other, if you would really like to see 2014
hold more peace and harmony for you and your child.
Lose those unwanted pounds of past baggage. Peace and harmony begin (and
end) with you.